Communication is Key – Don’t Wait Until You are Dead to Talk about Your Wishes

We talk to people every day about their estate plan and how they would like their assets distributed upon their death but it always surprises me how many people want to not discuss matters with their family assuming they will figure it out “once I am gone”.  However, this is doing a significant disservice to your family to leave them out of this process.

Discussing your estate plan with your family is important for a variety of reasons.

1. Clarifies Your Wishes
2. Prevents Family Conflict
3. Provides an Opportunity for Guidance
4. Protects Against Legal Issues
5. Minimizes Emotional Stress
6. Avoids Surprises

By having an open conversation with your family regarding your estate plan, you can ensure your family understands your wishes regarding your assets, healthcare decisions, and any other special considerations. This reduces uncertainty and the potential for disputes. 

When a family member dies or is in the midst of a medical emergency, no one is at their best, emotions are high, and your family members might not act rationally as they deal with their own grief and emotions.  It is unfair to then force them to make literally life or death decisions without knowing what you would want.  You should discuss how you would like your end-of-life care to look. 

Do you want a feeding tube?  Do you want hospice care at home?  How far do you want your family to go in keeping you alive?  These are all questions that should be covered in your estate plan but also need to be communicated to your family so that when it comes time to use the documents you executed they are aware of what you want as the documents don’t cover everything. 

Also, your family members might have differing ideas of what they think you would want.  This is why it is important to set everyone down together to go over these issues so that they are all present to hear direct from you what you want.  It is never easy to discuss these matters with your family as no one wants to think about their death but it is incredibly important to help those you love through this process before they are in the midst of a crisis. 

It is also important to involve your family in the dividing up of family heirlooms or items of significant sentimental value.  It is often something of minimal monetary value but with high sentimental value that leads to disputes between family members.  Sisters each of whom thought they would get mom’s wedding ring for example.  By talking to your family about who wants certain items, and involving them in the process to determine who gets what you can avoid significant conflict down the line, as all parties are aware of who gets these items.  You should then go one step further and include those lists in your estate planning documents. 

In summary, discussing your estate plan with your family is an essential step in maintaining harmony, providing clarity, and ensuring that your wishes are carried out smoothly both during your life and once you are gone.  We provide free consultations for your estate planning and probate needs, please give us a call at 316-265-0797 to set up a consultation today.